My Stories

                           Miley in the Bag 

Me and my friend Alberto would create these stories while texting. This is one of those stories, it's suppose to be me "talking" to him on the phone.

Juan: Did you know that in The movie Anger management they use the same set that they use in big daddy? Like the guys apartment and the bar!

Alberto: Really? That’s nice.. did you know they use my house for the set of Hannah Montana?

Juan: Well, that’s obvious! Whats a hillbilly without a trailer?

Alberto: I know that’s why they used it, and I get to use miley.

Juan: That’s a great deal, what did you have to do to get it, sleep with the producer? 

Alberto: Miley..IS the producer!!

Juan: Oh, so she has a penis, now It all makes sense!

Alberto: No she doesn’t! you’re just jealous

Juan: I’m not jealous! Do you think im jealous (crying) I mean why would I want a hillbilly anyways(grabs a pair of scissors) They’re whores just a bunch of whores (starts to cut his long gorgeous fro) I don’t want her!

Alberto: HaHaHa

Background voice at juan’s house:  Honey…What the hell!!! Why are you bald!!?!, are you planning to place that on your head? 

Juan: What?

Voice: That blond wig on the counter!

Juan: this, this is just my…um..costume ..yeah! me and the guys are having a costume party!

Voice : Are you wearing my make-up?

Juan: no

Voice: yeah you are , the tears are smearing it!! 

Juan: (starts crying) 

Voice: Honey, I know you love Hanna but you don’t need her when you got me, Ashley Tynsdale!

***mean while back at alberto’s***

Miley: (walks in to room) Alberto are you wearing my wig!!!

Alberto: Oh god no!!

Miley: wait a minute did you glue it on?!!

Alberto: No me and the guys are..( quickly gets a GLAD bag) taking you to vegas for your birthday..(puts her in the bag and calls juan back) it is done and now we pose as miley and ashley to get the rest of the girls. 

Juan: Perfect, The plan is flawless! But you didn’t have to glue it!

            Alberto: True, but incase they try and take it off.

                                                          Close call

 Sometimes when i go out i get these ideas like "what if this happened right know". I got this idea while pumping gas at a gas station owned by an Asian man.

My friend and I stopped at a gas station owned by an asian dude to get some gas. I told my friend that it would be funny if I walk in there and asked if they sell baby pandas. He said "do it". so I walk in there and asked the guy very seriously " do you guys happen to sell baby pandas?" the guys looks at me for a moment, he steps out from behind the counter he turns the open sign around

grabs my arm and says "follow me" he pulls me to the  basement

there he has a 79 cages full of live illegally imported animals  I was like “holy tits, I was kidding" he looks at me, takes out a shotgun points it at my face

and says " you saw too much now you must buy" at that point I had craped myself and I go "I only got $3" he takes the cash and hands me a screaming baby panda. He then pointed the gun at me and said " I want you out of my gas station in 10 seconds". My friend was barely done pumping the gas when I ran out with this screaming Illegally imported baby panda in my hands he looked at he like " wtf!!" I was like " no Time to explain get in the car!!" and we pealed-out of the gas station right before the Asian dude shot at us, and that’s why now I own at exotic Illegally imported baby panda named Close Call.